Initiative

Hi there everyone,

Haven’t seen you for a while. This year I’ve been being quite busy because of my side project. I drew some pictures for some friends. It took a lot of time and effort. Now, my first side project this year was done. Here are the last pictures of this project-“Knight of Wands” (Vitali) and “Knight of Coins” (Pini) for New Year presents :D

By the way, the birthday project is running…but I won’t draw everyone. Just so you know.

Winter is about to leave. Spring is coming soon. Lively life is coming back to Sweden while some of my friends are leaving school to do their internship. I felt pretty sad and guilty that I didn’t spend time with them-friends in other programs as I should have done. Personally, I might consider myself as a closed person. It’s quite hard for me to talk to new people. I don’t know why-maybe because of the old-style education that I’ve learnt from my country. It plays a big role in every step of my life. I’m trying to change my behaviour and I found that it’s really difficult. That kind of learning was buried in my head. It makes me feel less confident than one should be. It’s tough for me to take the initiative because I don’t feel confident to do it. It’s like a fear-fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of change, and so on. But I’m trying…

Time runs so fast. Suddenly, it’s 7 months since I’ve been here in Sweden! and soon, my friends and I have to leave school and chase our passion and dream. It is a tough time for me because I don’t know yet what I want to do for my life and for living. I have some skills. I know some stuff. I have some work experience but I’m not sure if I want to continue doing that thing. I don’t feel passionate about what I’ve done. I’m trying to find my goal and passion. It feels like I’m holding something that I know I could survive with, but I don’t love it that much. I’m afraid of letting it go because I don’t know if I change to hold something else instead I can live with it or not. Some people told me that if I do what I love, I, of course, can live with it… I hope they’re true. It will take time, money and a lot out of me. The only thing is that I have to start. Otherwise, everything will be stuck in my head and nothing will change.

Real life is coming so soon. Let’s see how I handle this.

Today I went out for ice-skating at the big lake near school with my friends. It was fun. I fell 3 times in one round. It’s my second time and it’s better than my first time (I fell 4 times), of course. Thank you Ulrik sooo much for lending me his ice-skates.

Take care,

Best